I was doing a great job of coming up with topics and blogging regularly. Until 2 months ago. Since then, I've done a great job of coming up with ideas but the execution just kept getting pushed more and more. Why? Well, the short answer is that though we are in education, the busiest time in the Project CRISS office is in the summer. That's when we lead our longer trainings, when our up-and-coming trainers (our apprentices) often submit their final certification packets, and when teachers and administrators finally get a chance to catch their breath and call us to make plans for the coming year. From about Memorial Day until Labor Day our little office is pretty much on the run.

Heck, Deb Franciosi even calculated that in one 30 day period, she was away from home for 20 days(!) between a conference and two training of trainers. I have led two workshops (online - which require just as much prep, if not more at this point - than the live ones) and have 2 live workshops and 3, possibly 4 online workshops coming up in the next 60 days. Oh, and Deb and I both have our own lives, of course. I have a lawn to mow. My toddler turns two in a few days. My mom and father-in-law are coming to visit. I'm trying to work out enough so that I can eat however much ice cream I want. And maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to go pick huckleberries on Big Mountain or in Glacier this year.

For the first couple of weeks of June I kept putting "Blog entry" on my daily to-do list. Then it'd make the weekly list. But eventually I just had to acknowledge that the blog HAD to be a lower priority than dealing with the day-to-day of CRISS and my personal wants (and needs) of summer. I enjoy this intense period of work but only because the summer weather (and local activities) allow me to also intensely enjoy my free time. Could I write a blog in the evenings? Sure... but most of the time I'm barely awake at 9 because I've made the most of every single minute.

Because most of the audience here are educators, I figured you'd understand. But with the evening breeze coming in my window I sat down, made tomorrow's to-do list (bullet after bullet of work but ending with "pick mom up at airport" and a smiley face) and I just felt so at peace with my inability to do it all. I don't know if it's the re-reading of Mindset by Carol Dweck or what but I just felt OK with knowing my limits for now. Proud that I know how to prioritize to take care of you/work and my family. Proud that for once in my life I really could feel OK saying, "Not right now." So why write a blog after saying "Hey... I just don't have time!"? I don't really know. I think I just wanted to let you all know that I know I'm ok struggling though my days and not always being successful. I want you to know that while I do professional development for a living, it's not because I'm some master of time and education and students and charisma or whatever picture you have of ed consultants. I do it because I DO struggle and I know others have it worse. I just want to do what I can to help.

Anyway, I hope you're having a nice summer. I am. And you'll hear from me more in September.